Dubai: Sandy Souls to Glassy Hearts

What to say of a place which has diversity imbibed in its own essence? What to say of a place where there is indeed an inherent culture yet with open arms the world is welcomed to tweak the city according to its own need and greed? What to say of a place which has held its own with all the divine grace?

What tempts here are not the high rises, rather the calm of the roads where the cars never stop moving. The movement on roads even at 4 in the morning is full and tempestuous. Although there is still a major part of the city which enchants albeit with a different bow. A largely yet to be developed land brimming with yellow sand. The blend is haunting and all the more unnerving. Something worth witnessing and that too in equal proportions.

Like a brilliantly shaken cocktail the world still waits for this city, which has brought together the East and the West.

Who feels like a foreigner in this land? None, can feel a foreigner. Lonely many can feel, but that’s a case different altogether as loneliness can be felt anywhere. Being foreign in an alien land is a simple notion. Somehow this city doesn’t abide by this norm. It very solemnly sprinkles familiarity on everyone. Europeans, Asians, Middle-Easterns, and Emiratis themselves find home the moment their noses breathe the air of this land.

In all the while since the egg of this land hatched, the bird took off. Time, sure, it needed. Inspiration, nay! Something magical has come off this land, a genie perhaps this city has become to bring forth the dreams of all those who want to fly like the very city itself. But mind you, most flights are lonely.

Touch of the Barren

The moment one breathes the air here, life presents you with two choices. One that will take you towards a land barren and the other one that will overwhelm your own heart.

I took the barren land because I had no choice. The vast width of the roads and highways are within its own - self alluring. A man who has lived most of his own life in a crowded city and home, this city oozes acceptance to be left aloof. Towards the right – the land barren. Towards the left – the land barren. Yet there was shimmering sunlight reflected by the window panes of the building which were still being born to fly. The sand so brown presents a story in itself. A gaze is more than enough to understand that it is simply unpardonable to not appreciate how a land can soil infrastructure like saplings. The only thing that one has to bear is heat but then the city with all its vehicular movement ensures that the heat barely touches you, until of course you prefer to walk while the sun shoots your head straight from above. Another time on this land is meant to walk and roam.

My first night presents me with a full circular moon, and a warm breeze. It is now the time to walk and roam with all the heart. The lanes are none to be found. Every road seems like a new path to find one self in one’s own solitude. I finally found a place, I thought. Maybe Yes. The lonely roads replicate life perfectly. Downhill, uphill, occasional vehicles breezing through, yes this is how life is. There is no scope to walk here. Only the scope to seek. But seeking is tedious. The night works like a mistress on these roads where the street lights work as an escort to create an illusion that artificial or perhaps technology is the new natural. This illusion I did not buy. What I bought was the availability of security. At 3 in the morning, having walked for more than half an hour, I am still the witness of nature’s sand complimented by man-made roads.

A lot goes on with the heart when one skids through minutes with bare minimum in vicinity. A lost chance on love was not what my heart thought while my steps slowly traced the roads. I was surprised. My own heart surprised me. I thought of graces to find another many chances. And also, I felt about a chance on love which now lay open for my heat only to realize that yes it indeed is a chance on love. I did not think much about family, and it was not surprising. Most alone moments one thinks of a person with whom those moments can be shared. I was not thinking. The moment perhaps was successful in seizing me. Temptations of what lay beyond this sand, something I was yet to witness, enchanted me. With whom to share this temptation enchanted me.

A lizard caught my fancy as well. I sidestepped into the sand, and bowed and looked at it. Staying put, unfazed by my presence, the lizard offered me a book of analogies. Who am I? A friend of this animal perhaps, who is looking as forward as he can, alone, into his own, thinking of life, about life, aspirations and failures, what counts and what not! 

In all the necessity of night, sleep must take precedence. But for someone who is out of his country for the first time, and that too comes closer to grasp the solitude that he seeks, sleep is nostalgia. Movement, action however slow it may it is the only thing which makes a noise. Some noise becomes necessary in this desert. One must find his own noise else the noise is the distraction. And to run away from this distraction, experiencing this side of city, the one with barren land is vital.

The impressions of stones and rocks on the sandy night leave ample traces to bring some cheer. A rock of the size of a stone, I picked it up. The bottom side was cool from the chilly sand. Something came to me and I brushed it on my cheeks, both left and right taking turns. It was the coolest I would feel the entire night. A souvenir that stone will be - of my first night and first epiphanies from the sand.

A late night provided for an early rise. The first morning was as enlightening as the morning before when I was yet to board the plane to travel here. At what cost should one miss the morning walk in here? That morning I took a route different from the previous night. The rays were there alright. The heat grew as the count of my steps grew. Every step needed something extra from me to make the walk all the worthwhile. It was my fault perhaps. I should have started a bit early before the sun was about to lurk over the sand. Delay of minutes cost me dozen of calories. Sometimes to sweat without physically exulting oneself provides more value. The times which once were tough and times when enduring became difficult are at once all reminded. And the drop of sweat on the eyelash makes them forget with equal ease.

In the moment given, none can think about how to pass the time. In here there is no such thing as time. Only vastness. An arena where the battlefield is sandy and the opponent staring oneself is one’s own heart. A heart which one may think one knew once. All is forgotten in this vastness where time is invalid. Sun goes up and comes down, the moon pops up and disappears. Nothing remains here too, just like everywhere else. But there is an air of forgetfulness in the heat. Sooner or later one is bound to get used to this air else death becomes eminent. It indeed can be a nice way to go. But this city may not let you go. The city and its heritage will have little impact on the way you think. The sand has no heritage but simply a fragrance which reminds different people of different things. Different people with different reminiscences, all flow in the sand like the sand.

Tinch of the Flavor

The first gaze that one puts on the main city during the midnight moonlight strains the neck with awe. The higher one looks the more aspirations arise in one’s heart. Surrounded by the glassy pillars shimmering with intoxicating lights, that is what this is, unlike all the land which remains barren and is often left behind. The true essence of the city is there in these infrastructures which encapsulate one’s soul. My soul was mine but not free. There is an air of calmness in the pace that drives this city. All of the city seems up and awake for as long as one can endure being awake. The cabs pick up pace as the night flows. Each cab brings a distinct diverse identity with its driver. A man settled in a land far from his home, for money and a promise to provide for a better life to his children. The night kindles that promise of these cab drivers who are always in demand on the weekends. Such is the case of weekend here. Friday and Saturday are weekends. There are Sunday morning blues, and one has to forgo the dance of Saturday night to report back at job (if any) on a hot Sunday morning. This city amazes if one gives a chance. After all, in life most of dearly aspire for a mere chance. This city aspires too for acceptance. The feelings are mutual. The expats inhabiting this land want acceptance and so does the city. Everything is in store here, are you at the right place? That is the momentous question. The city provides for everyone who seeks. From the crowded pubs and nightclubs to serene dimly lit beaches to pretty women strolling around the streets (also in seek of acceptance), this city provides.

Most often being not clear in heart is a dilemma. Not here, not on this land. It is the land where all dilemma vanishes. It’s pure magic. How this dilemma is overcome, none knows, at least I fail to know. Two nights in the city, having experienced most, I found myself at a certain ease. Where the mind is stable and there are no reminiscences. But like all things in life, it too is temporary. One has to take up the journey to the end of the night again the next night to be at the same unnerving peace of mind. It’s a process where one fine tunes to seek one’s own self. There is no struggle more noble and more courageous than that. Not only one has to accept that city but one has to accept his own heart which is riddled with temptations of the night. For some the temptation may be of solitude or some it may be of not being alone. Rest assured this city has an answer. Yet again for every answer there will be a price. This land built on the heritage of oil will always demand a price to be paid. And it will be worthwhile to pay the price. The city is built on the ruins of sand now flavored with the west. Getting the best of the eastern Arabic heritage hand in hand with the western materialistic excess is no easy feat. It must demand a price. Some pay it by soul and some by cash.

For most people that one will encounter here, one trait remains same. The jest to make the most out of this city. Be it in monetary ways or the ways of exuberance.

For me the nightlife of this city provides respite. My breakfast is melancholy and dinner is nostalgia. Post-midnight on weekends, feelings beg to differ. The heart demands an escape. And escape this city at night is. Then comes into the picture the vivid plethora of man-made skills showcased in the infrastructure. It’s a double edged sword nevertheless. Too much glancing out at these brightly lit marvels from the cab window can be fatal. It may turn out to be similar to staring at an empty wall. One can get lost in his own heart and then there’s no coming back from it. An amazement still looms over, in wonder, if only man could marvel his own heart the way this city is marveled with all the beauty of glass panes. Each building’s exterior is modeled on glass. An all reflecting glass. The city and its glassy infrastructure is full of metaphorical value. What you see in it? You own self?

The city is for youth, and only youth. The age which makes one gorge and unmovable has no scope to keep a toe in this city’s night. The action starts at midnight and may well last until the swim in the ocean at the dawn. Every youth embezzling beauty of body is in the hunt for something new and naive to take back home. This hunt forms the foundation for the chase in which both the men and women are locking eyes together. The diverse population provides for the backdrop of interesting conversations, if only one finds someone interested in a conversation past a certain hour. The youth wants things quick and without any labor at the midnight, for they already toil in their office spaces. Barely the youth has courage enough to work two shifts in a day – one at office and other at wooing the opposite sex. The abundance of choices doesn’t allow for this much effort to sleep with someone at night. But there are a few who want to work hard for the night and unfortunately they have to bear the burden of going to sleep alone. And then there are some who are there to simply observe and carve a story about the whole episodes they witness.

Once the return to the closed confinements of one’s room is confirmed, the sight of high rises from the window panes don’t allow for much sleep. At moments I think that this is simply an infatuation and this fascination is not to last long. Each night proves me wrong. Will there be one night when I will be proven right? A patient wait awaits as of now.

Oceanic Dawn

The escapades of this city can nary be complete until one witness dawn in the ocean. The sand on the beach is of a color different than what one witnesses at the first glance. The beach oozes life. A natural life that is hidden in whole of city. Perhaps it’s the magic of the ocean. No wonder most secrets of the world are hidden and unfolded within the oceanic beauty. There is life and there is death in the ocean. As I step my foot in the heavy waters, I found sea shells from whom the life has been taken away. What a beauty those shells are for me. I pick them in dozens for souvenirs without realizing that there is no life in them, and the gift of these shells that I shall bestow to my loved ones will be the gifts shaped by the dead life. These things may not mean much but they determine how one feels. The ocean and its charm can’t be evaded. The more I swim within and far the more I realize my worth. Nothing in the shape of this ocean. Nothing in the shape of this planet. Nothing in the shape of this universe. I am nothing yet I derive pleasure with every stroke of swim I make. Liberated I feel because I am nothing in the grand piece of art. Maybe so. The realization of nothingness and then being liberated to see life from one’s own lens, for sure, overwhelms. The feel of nothingness marks the beginning of a flight, where the heart flaps and knows that it can do all that it aspires. It feels nothing than mere liveliness. The tiresome days and sleepless nights are at once forgotten as soon as absolute submission to the waves happen. One flows with the waves, a step forward and a backward. To and fro. Just like life comes and goes, the waves caress you and return to come back again. You must still be prepared to catch all the liveliness that the ocean presents. One look at the horizon and the vastness of ocean is felt. The shine of the sun on the water surface and reflection of one’s own self on the very same surface, a perfect juxtaposition of what one wants from life what life offers rather. Not only in another life, but this one as well, if there were no sufferings then how would one realize how the ocean helps you forgive and swim ahead in life? The moment when one is breathless in the ocean and one longs for little air, the necessity to let it all go is felt. A fraction of second is enough to let all the breath go and reside in the ocean bed, yet one fights to come out on the top of the surface and lunge for air. This struggle, this fight is what is life. And the air mixed with warmth of sunlight makes it all worth. As soon as one becomes comfortable breathing the air, the need for struggle arises again. One can’t stop oneself from going down deep inside the shallow waters again. And the survival battle starts again. The ocean metaphor is the only metaphor to encompass all that is to life. The warm breeze and the warm sunlight falling on the back and the water warm from acceptance of life makes the human life worthwhile to wake up for one day more. This is the magic of the ocean.

The ocean, no doubt is tormented too like us. Yet it radiates life. It plays with its own virtues. It accepts both the sea animal and us humans in equal capacity. No one is a barbarian for the ocean. Every object or body that comes in contact with the ocean experiences an absolute submission from the ocean. The ocean is real all giver. It doesn’t judge, it doesn’t play games, it doesn’t punish. It showers love and waves to sway your heart away to a feeling so distant that one can barely escape from drowning in love with the ocean.

A certain aura of happiness abounds the body in the ocean. That is when the loved ones are missed the most. When the body flows and the heart tunes itself to the rhythm of waves, love is missed dearly. Ocean offers compensation nevertheless. How lucky are the ones who can afford the ocean with the love of their lives?  

The Smoke to Forget

What is this city if not for the smoke it offers in every cafe? Sheesha, meaning mirror, is the heart of every joint where you sit to eat. Made up of fancy and elaborate candle-stand with an elongated pipe attached to inhale the flavory fruity tobacco mix and to exhale the cloud of smoke, this sheesha is the getaway of this city. Available in array of fruity flavors it helps one to forget the distasteful flavors of life. Escape it provides in abundance. People work through sheesha, they play through sheesha, they go on dates through sheesha, and what not sheesha doesn’t offer to the people of this city.

The name fascinates me more than the product itself. Sheesha means mirror, yet I wonder how many people really think about their own lives while blowing the smoke off it? Which mirror is it? Where to look for one’s heart in this mirror? Maybe it is the smoke that is the mirror. There are no clues to this mystery. Having witnessed conversation on love, of love, with love over sheesha certainly tells something about the mystic that the smoke creates. But one shouldn’t get carried away too, for I have witness loneliness in such a smoke as well.

For people of daring, there is one substance more mind-numbing and highly powerful than the sheesha. The local tobacco called Dokha. Dokha is Arabic for dizziness and is proudly famous for its vertigo effect. Smoked through a traditional midwakh pipe, it effects the brain sooner enough for the heart to live. It is purified tobacco and rich in nicotine. It is purified escape and rich in making one forget, even if all this vertigo lasts for barely dozen seconds. The more you lit it up, the more you elongate the duration to forget your own-self. Ideally one should be forgiving to one’s heart without an escape. But who is God among us. We are struck by the burden of our existence. And the only lift from this burden is given by the shadowy escapes we hide in. 

Survival, Sustenance

If one can live long enough one can have enough regrets. This land doesn’t believe in regrets. All the guilt and regret that any heart can bear are its own. All this land does is infuse them into thin air. The very same air that one breathes. At one hand there is the temptation of physical beauty that this city penetrates into and on the other is the virtue of intellect that the empty desert presents. Whose elbow to hold is a tussle every person who seeks meaning to life has to undergo. There indeed is a high risk of being entirely torn apart and losing one’s own individuality in it. But there is a high risk as well that you may attain respite from disdain of life if not give meaning to it. The choice entirely is of the heart. The brain shall merely follow.

An ode is impossible for this city if not there is soul searching involved. This city doesn’t allow soul searching for the weak hearted for it enchants them with its vices. The brave, however can taste the vices and yet fiddle with them. This city is made for the brave souls. Those who dance like dervish can survive this land with all the joy in the world. For every happiness that one has ever forsaken in life, this land provides an opportunity to reclaim it. But mind you, doing so is not easy alone. A companion is needed; a confidante is needed. The soul mate is an impeccable component in ending the seek for whatever a heart seeks. If love is lost is land somewhere far from this city then this city may not help you attain it but it can offer alternative loves, the ones which will always be at your disposal and you choosing them is entirely dependent on your own discretion. In providing offerings like an all giving tree and accepting you as who you are, this city will always enchant you furthermore. Welcome, you are to breathe here in calm.