We inhabit two brains – the one before and the one after a nervous breakdown. We inhabit two hearts – the one before and the one after being shattered. And if in life we have a little luck by our side then we will witness only three out of these four.

The extremities of our both our brain and our heart are supreme. That’s how it is. Both our brain and our heart love crazy. Both of them are crazy. Both want us to go crazy. Both then, warn us against being crazy. And both then, enjoy when we disregard their advice and finally go crazy. Both again warn us that crazy won’t last. And when the crazy is finally over and lost, both together then cuss us with a smirk. If we are lucky then this will happen to us at least once in our lifetime and if we are extremely down on our luck then this shall happen again and again and again and shall go on happening until we take control of both our brain and our heart. But there’s a catch here too. When we would finally decide to take control, we would already have been addicted to this feeling of being crazy all the time.

And this addiction may very well be better than Heroine. Mind you this crazy is not cocaine-esque. Like a good shot of Heroine this crazy will transcend us into a realm whose effect on our brain and heart will drive us for whole our lives. Unlike actual Heroine this transcendence has two facades. One which feels exactly like the real Heroine. The other one is a different transcendence. The other one is entirely dependent on why the brain and heart want to go crazy. We would then be in a conflict as we would never be able to figure out why we want to go crazy, no matter with how much zeal we dig deep in our brain and our heart. We would never realize why we want to be in this other transcendence. And this realization that we would never realize the Why of our transcendence is a bliss in itself. But this bliss will only last as long as the transcendence lasts. Once the transcendence is dusted away we shall inhabit the latter of the two brains and the two hearts. A nervously broke brain and a shattered heart!

We must also not forget that luck is the all quintessential factor in how we tackle the loss of transcendence. But what is meant by luck? That we must let our brain and our heart decide. And if we have faith in our brain and our heart, we already know what this subjective luck is to our respective lives. For some disturbed souls this luck can very well be disguised in a word called Magic.

Anyhow, the mosaic that our life is, dictated by our brain and our heart is always hazy. The two brains and two hearts are forever in conflict. A conflict of where we stand... on a pedestal of a nervous broke brain or on a pedestal of a shattered heart or with one leg on each of these two pedestals. And this very conflict never lets the mosaic be clear, crystal. The mosaic remains hazy. And in great schema of things the hazier the mosaic, the greater is our vigour and courage to make the mosaic clear, crystal. This very effort to unhaze the mosaic marks the beginning of a new start. The seek for a clarity of even an inch within this mosaic is what makes the whole transcendence worthwhile. Because let it be very astutely stated that each of us shall be transcended because of our brain and our heart; and then we will lose both our brain and our heart. Getting back from that loss of transcendence is tough. The seek makes that tough worthwhile.

Yet, entirely is this transcendence or anything at all in our hands? If not in our hands then it certainly can’t be dependent on our brain and our heart – they both love crazy. Why do we then fall desperately into this transcendence despite having a fair amount of hint that chances are astronomical of our brain going nervous broke and heart being shattered? What are we desperate for? The transcendence or this feeling: What it’s like to be nervous broke and shattered? Most of us can’t answer this question. We can reason about it but can’t answer it straight. At least most artists will have trouble answering this question. Most men will shy away from giving any answer to it. Most women will hesitate to answer it. But like answers to all vague and disturbing questions the answer to this question may very well lie in the sands of time. Yet when the sand has slipped softly and smoothly through our brain and our heart, often it is late. If not actually late, our brain and our heart certainly dub it as late.

When is this wave of time dubbed late? This precision by our brain and our heart is responsible for the brain and the heart that we will then inhabit. A brain before or after a nervous breakdown? A heart before and after being shattered? The choice here is neither much nor does it really matter. Our brain and our heart are both our friends, so why lie to ourselves at all? The choice to inhabit which brain and which heart does not really exist. For if it exists for some souls then their luck is to be blamed. The magic that their luck brings to their lives – that luck is to be blamed. It’s a blame in veil, a veil that unfurls the seek of yet another transcendence. A transcendence to escape the lost transcendence. A full circle. But indeed if this circle is avoided either in deliberation or inadvertently then there is only one consequence, a firm finale. We must then inhabit the nervous broke brain and a shattered heart.     

But seek we must! Else a cocoon awaits us. The life within the cocoon is too morbid to survive a lifetime. So seek we must for this transcendence which will let us elope from the nervous broke brain and the shattered heart. Although there is no real coming back, mind you, from these two halves of our brain and our heart. Once the primary transcendence is lost we will inhabit the nervous broke brain and a shattered heart and yes, there is no means of repair. So seek we must! Another transcendence to delve into our brain and heart and bring back the same mystique, the same luck infused magic on which our lives thrived during the primary transcendence. Else what’s the point? If a life, morbid, in cocoon is worthwhile then why taste the transcendence in the first place? And if we realise that this life in cocoon is worthwhile after the loss of primary transcendence, then what’s the point in fighting for the living? Only a seek can give a point. Yet another transcendence can give a point. What else? Ask our brain and our heart... if not crazy, if not another transcendence then what else can make it all worthwhile? How can the mosaic of life be unhazed then? Is it worth unhazing? Maybe unhazing it is not the point. Life being worthy is a perpetual state of transcendence –this is the point, maybe. Just maybe. But as all things in our brain and our heart, we all must decide for ourselves, what we seek. But seek we must!